A reader’s theatre script that contrasts our desire to give the perfect gift for Christmas with THE PERFECT GIFT FROM GOD. THE PERFECT GIFT by Rebecca and Chris Shenefiel Cast:
4 women in various ages of life. May read from a script if desired.
#1 Woman (in 20-30’s age)
#2 Woman (in 30-40’s age)
#3 Woman (in 50-60’s age)
#4 Woman (in 40-50’s age)
(As skit begins the 4 women are seated on stools with their back to the audience. The #1 actor in 20-30’s turns around in her stool and faces audience and begins to speak. The spotlight is turned on her as she speaks to audience.)
Woman #1: Have you ever tried to find the perfect gift? I think it’s easier to buy for a woman than a man, don’t you? A woman is happy with any useless, pretty, smells good, cute, makes her feel good little thing. But a man likes….Well, what in the world does a man like? Have you figured it out yet? If you buy a wallet you find out it’s not the right type. Bi-fold? Not good. It has to be a Tri-fold. And it has to have just the right depth to fit into their back pocket. Don’t want any bulges you know. Or else they want some hi-tech thing-a-ma-jig with no name that makes any sense. Just a bunch of letters and numbers strung together— like the x24-K1-Lmz camera with 10.1 megapix and G-moss sensor 4 gigabite cartridge. Is there a perfect gift for my husband? I don’t think so?
(she turns around in her stool with back to audience).
(Next the #2 woman in her 30-40\’s turns around and faces audience to speak with spotlight on her.)
Woman #2 Have you ever tried to buy a gift for a teenager? Oh yeah. If that doesn’t make you feel old before your time. You need a specially translated dictionary like they have for swahili to follow what they are saying these days. (shakes her head). I went to buy a CD for one of my nephew one year. I went all over creation looking for this group called Mush Mouth. I could feel my face turn shades of red as I would desperately ask one store clerk after another, “Please, could you tell me where I could find Mush Mouth?” All I got was strange looks and a sad shake of their head. Finally one clerk took pity on me and said, “Ma’am” —–Don’t you just love to be called Ma\’am!–”I think you might mean Smash Mouth and not Mush mouth.” Bless his heart. And he actually said it with a straight face. I proudly brought home that CD like a hard won trophy from a prize fight. I had paid dearly for it by the total loss of my dignity. I wrapped it lovingly and placed it under his tree—along with what turned out to be the 3 other copies of the same “Smash Mouth” CD his friends had given him. Oh yeah. Tell me about a perfect gift for a teenager!
(She turns around in stool with back to audience.)
(Next #3 woman in her 50-60\’s turns to face audience with spotlight on her)
Woman #3 Perfect gifts? I have a story about a perfect gift. I decided to buy my two precious grand-daughters some Barbie doll clothes for Christmas. Now how can a grandmother go wrong with that? Is that not a perfect gift or what? They had fifteen different Barbie dolls between them. Barbies with black hair, blond hair, strawberry hair and every color in between, Holiday Barbies and Barbies with bendable, pose-able arms and legs. Even some with no arm or legs. Quite a collection! So I spent a small fortune buying stylish dresses and ball gown with matching shoes. A few months after Christmas I was in their room while they were playing. On the floor were scattered several Barbies and a big box of Barbie clothes. I sorted through them eagerly looking for the gowns I had given them. But all I saw were Barbie jeans, t-shirts, sweatshirts, mini-skirts and sneakers. No dresses. Nary a one. So I made the mistake of asking where the dresses were. They answered nonchalantly, “Oh, we traded them with the girls next door for all those cool clothes you were just looking at.” Sometimes what looks like a perfect gift to you turns out to be a perfect flop!
(She turns around in stool with back to audience.)
(The last #4 woman in her 40-50’s turns around to face audience with spotlight on her)
Woman #4 Well, I don’t even TRY to buy a perfect gift any more! I simply re-gift. Did you know that 90% of the items found in thrift stores are full of someone’s idea of a perfect gift? Hot dog bun toaster. Now who thought THAT would be on someone’s top 10 wish list? Electric ice-shaver? Po-Peill pocket fisherman? A rubber fish on a plaque wearing a Santa hat that sings 5 different Christmas songs when you pass by? Gold-plated nose hair clipper? What kind of status symbol is that? A nose hair clipper isn’t exactly something someone wears around their neck for people to admire. Mmm. Or is it? And did you ever see those ads on TV where they advertise something as being the PERFECT holiday gift? They quote a price and then say, “Now wait there’s more! Not only do you get one fish dehydrator but TEN for the price of one.” Honey, that just means that they can’t GIVE it away! They are practically paying you to get rid of the 10,000 boxes they have had stored in their warehouse the last five years collecting dust. Mmmm. Does the perfect gift even exist? (She turns back to face the wall).
(The #1 woman who spoke, who is in 20-30\’s, now turns to face audience and speaks)
Woman #1 “The perfect Gift came one night wrapped in swaddling clothes. Brand new. Perfect.”
(She stays facing audience as the next #2 woman turns around to audience and speaks)
Woman #2 “That Gift is there for you to unwrap if you want it. It’s yours. Perfect.”
(The next #3 woman turns to face audience and speak)
Woman #3 “No Gift like it has ever been given and never will. It’s perfect.”
(#4 woman turns to face audience and speak)
Woman #4 “What more could you need? What more could you want but Jesus? Perfect.”
(All four women are now facing audience. All together they speak in unison and say:)Woman#1, #2, #3 and #4 say in unison: “With Jesus is perfect forgiveness. Perfect love. Perfect peace. Merry Christmas!”